TOP FIVE: Signs at our local Police Station

Here it is, gang, the long-awaited second installment of the Top Five.  We have to register with the po-po here, so while we were waiting for forty minutes, we took a gander at the various signs they had posted around.  We tried to take pictures but were quickly yelled at.  We also didn't have time to get the actual Chinese definitions for most of them because they accused us of loitering.  We are going to try and do that for future Top Fives.  Now, on to the list:

#5 - Hard-working Room

#4 - Mediate the Room in Dispute

#3 - Detective's Long Office of Punishment

#2 - The Populace Appraises the Box (from a suggestion box)

#1 - The Public Squadron Punishment Detects the Room

Feel free to comment on entries you think should be higher or lower than they are.  We've taken a suggestion from Nate and are currently working on the first installment of "Guess Which Story is True."  That's all for now.

Jono and Sam

NEW FEATURE: Deeweedee of the Week!

This is an experiment, so I'd appreciate feedback on whether or not people like it.  Basically, we live next door to a movie theater that routinely plays American B-(or C- or D-)movies for about $1.40, so we have taken to attending some showings.  They are all just DVDs that the theater owner bought for $0.40 and he is turning a profit by selling one ticket, but that's okay.  You can sneak beer in with a backpack so it's worth it.  My plan is to write short plot summaries followed by a list of superlatives.  Here goes:

Title: The Hive

Plot Summary: An ant colony on a small island in the Pacific begins to attack and eat humans.  Leading experts are brought in but nobody seems to be able to control the ants.  Several battles ensue, but our hero soon discovers that the ants have actually become conscious.  They can form giant arms and other diverse figures (more on that to come).  They even link together and form a living computer (with each ant acting as a binary transmitter, yes for 1 or no for 0) and try to parlay with the humans.  They want half the island for themselves, and only when that happens will they leave the humans alone.  In the end, the ants all get blown up and the world is safe once again.

Actors you may have seen in any other movie: None.

Other people in the theater: Two.

Worst special effect:  The extermination rays used by the good guys that look a little worse than the ones in Ghostbusters (1984).

Most implausible moment: An ant crawls in a guy's ear and begins biting his neurons to affect his thinking and control him.

Best line spoken by the Prime Minister of the island while slamming his fist vehemently on a table:  "We will not negotiate with ants!"

Worst line trying to establish past love connection between two characters out of the blue: "Heh, I guess we're not backpacking around Europe anymore..."

Best special effect:  The climactic scene of the movie has the main characters fighting a giant ant...

Wait for it...

Made out of ants.

If any of you have a chance to catch this one, I would definitely recommend it.

-Jono and Sam

Sing-gah-poh

First of all, a thousand apologies to all you dedicated readers out there.  We've had hell trying to get internet at our house and getting our shit together to update this thing.  We're gonna write a few entries in the next couple of days and then we hope to get back to a semi-regular schedule.

First, a few funny stories from our trip to Singapore.  First of all, it is a country where chewing gum is illegal and bringing in drugs can get you the death penalty, in case you didn't know.  A good indication of how rigid their society is: they were building a new terminal at their airport for cheap airlines and had a competition to name it, with the first prize being 5000 bucks.  After tough deliberation, they settled on Budget Terminal.  Somebody won money for coming up with that name (credit to Kelly for the story).

There are high Chinese and Indian populations on the island and they don't seem to get along very well.  The first Chinese cab driver we got in Little India said that Indian guys are like animals and to never let a girl walk around alone in that area of town.  They will grope her and molest her and all sorts of good stuff like that.  The next day, we had an Indian cab driver who told us that all the Chinese people care about is money.  'Money, money, money.  A Chinese man will kill you for money,'  he told us excitedly.  Good to see people living together harmoniously...

Also the Singaporean accent might be the silliest English accent on the planet (for a country where it's an official language).  I'll try and find a youtube video with good examples, but the title of this entry is a pretty good approximation of how they say their own nation's name.  Even Kelly agrees.

That's all for now, more updates soon...